James Ubriacco
Mollie Ubriacco
Rosie
Samantha
Mikey Ubriacco
Julie Ubriacco
Rocks (voice)
Daphne (voice)
Albert
Himself
Sol
Ruthie
Kid at Schoolyard
Accountant
Old Waitress
Pimply Faced Kid
Burly Dad
Kid on Santa's Lap
Bratty Girl
Seedy Santa
Dave
Maitre D'
Dog Catcher
